At 18 years of age, I was involved in a car accident which left me with various problems, like a fracture in my coccyx, a ruptured ureter, and damaged sphincters. From that moment on, I began to experience urinary incontinence a little like what women suffer from after one or two pregnancies: loss of urine when I laugh, jump or sneeze, etc..

I was getting along ok in this situation,. I learned how to resolve small problems. When I had my two ultrasounds, I "cheated" and did not drink water until the last minute to avoid problems. When I spoke to my doctor, he smiled and explained that several of his patients had done the same thing.

At 33 years of age, I had my first child. During the pregnancy, the situation got worse. I was going more often to the bathroom, and I was having more frequent urine loss. I had already decided to definitely eliminate sports I liked from my life.

For my second child, at 35 years old, the situation became problematic...I did not always have enough time to get to the bathroom in the middle of the night (for example, I would get up at night for the baby and wet the floor, having to tell my husband to be careful so that he did not slip on the wet floor, take the baby and urinate, and then climb a step higher and lose urine without the time to react.

For me, it is very important to play with my children, but in my case, it's another story...content myself with taking pictures, as it is impossible for me to play, to run, or to jump without losing urine. That is why one never finds me in photographs.

A normal trip in the car has become an adventure. For example, when I go to my in-laws in Ontario, I go to the bathroom before leaving, and immediately after arriving, I have to excuse myself to go to the bathroom again. It has been the same routine for 15 years. I avoid drinking water unless absolutely necessary. Wherever I am, I always start by finding out where the bathrooms are. This is very important for me to prevent disasters.

One of the big frustrations that incontinence brings me is that right now I am teaching my son of 2 years to be toilet-trained, when I cannot always be the same. I find it very difficult at 37 years old to feel like I am regressing, by not controlling my bladder. I feel really helpless.

The walls were beginning to cave in around me, and I decided I needed to take control again. I lost a few pounds that I needed to lose, and decided I needed to feel good about myself again. But to do this, I needed to improve my incontinence problem.

After talking to my family doctor, he referred me to a urologist. After detailed examination, the urologist referred me to a physiotherapist. The physiotherapy sessions, about 10, consisted of doing Kegel exercises, biofeedback and bladder retraining. In my case, these exercises helped me to control my incontinence and to reduce urine loss. In addition, they allowed me to reduce the frequency of feeling the urge to go to the bathroom. As of now, I can wait 60 to 90 minutes between bathroom visits. With continuing exercises, I hope to increase this interval more.

It is important not to wait until the situation worsens to consult a specialist. We should not always put things off for whatever reason we can fathom. We should not keep this problem that has such an impact on our lives and on our morale, to ourselves.

For a long time, my quality of life was affected by incontinence problems. But today, I know that thanks to the right exercises and medications, I will finally be able to control these problems.

With all the solutions available today for individuals experiencing incontinence, one should not hesitate to consult a specialist. One can only improve and become happier.

As "patients", we must help these wonderful medical and research team, and we must make The Canadian Continence Foundation our fighting force. Even sharing our own stories and common points of view will help.

I will end by telling you that I am stronger because of this journey.

My life was drastically altered after I underwent a laparoscopic hysterectomy in March, 1993. I experienced urinary complications from the surgery. I was unable to pass urine and had no sense of when my bladder was full. As a result I was incontinent. Despite my doctors’s assurances that such complications were common and that normal functions would return , my problems continued and worsened over the three years. The tests I underwent revealed an atonic bladder. This means that the muscle of my bladder was unable to contract strongly enough to push urine out. I was taught self-catheterization to empty my bladder. Even with this I began experiencing recurrent bladder infections and pelvic pain caused by a constant full bladder. My urologist told me that my conditions was hopeless and encouraged me to stop working due to my disability. My travel was restricted and I was embarrassed to use public washrooms. I found self-catheterizing very awkward and painful. By this time I was close to despair, but my husband John was not willing to give up and continued to seek answers. His research led him to an internet article published by a physician who was an expert on chronic bladder problems. I went to see the physician in June of 1996 and he conducted tests to determine my suitability for a (then) new implant device that might alleviate my condition. The results indicated that I was a suitable candidate and I had the surgery on August 27, 1996. I am happy to report that to date the implant has worked marvelously and I have not needed to self-catheterize since the operation! I have started a full-time job and my total well being has changed dramatically. I once again have a positive outlook on life! This operation was truly a blessing for me.

“Ethel” was a very prim Scottish lady of 92 years of age. She came to the clinic as she had a sister in our personal care home who was wearing diapers and Ethel was determined she wasn’t going to end up like that.

She had questions about pelvic muscle exercises and “the weights” she had heard about at a presentation. I reviewed the exercises with her and showed her the vaginal weights. Ethel really wanted the weights but thought the price of $140 was outrageous. She reminded me she was a Scot and was certainly not going to pay that price. The only option for the weights that I could think of was that of “Ben Wah” balls which are purchased at “love shops”. Armed with this information and a further review of the pelvic floor exercises, Ethel left the office.

I thought I would never see Ethel again. Too my surprise, she returned to the office in less than a month. Ethel was very excited. She had bought the “Ben Wah” balls and was using them faithfully. However, the main reason for her visit was to show me something else she had purchased at the shop and wanted me to stock at my clinic. She thought this product was just perfect for people with urgency. Ethel then opened the bag and showed me.

Can you guess what she had?

A dozen pair of crotchless lace panties. Ethel stated they were just the things for when she really had to go and was afraid she wouldn’t quite make it.

Ethel died at the age of 98. Through the use of the pelvic muscle exercises, her “Ben Wah” balls and the crotchless panties, she never had to wear a diaper and maintained her continence to the end.

Share your stories